What has occurred to me over my years of practice and personally as well is the level of animosity between spouses during and after the divorce practice. This erosion between them usually starts during the marriage, proceeds throughout the divorce and continues well after the Final Judgment. Much of that stems from the fact that most couples choose the traditional divorce model. You know the one I mean where each side tries to bash the other one to pieces until one or both caves in and settlement occurs. This does not happen in every case but there are enough war stories to support it happens more frequently than not. It’s not the parties fault for continuing their dislike for their spouse during the divorce however, as attorneys we have let our clients down by not letting them know a better format is available. That process is called Collaborative Divorce
A positive effect of divorcing collaboratively is the opportunity the process gives both spouses to heal the wounds of the divorce and from the marriage. By taking the anger and hostility out of the divorce, it gives the parties an opportunity to be civil to each other during and after the divorce is final. By using a mental health neutral professional during the Collaborative Process, a healing can occur which will empower the spouses to effectively deal with the issues necessary to resolve the divorce. This will also provide a framework for them to enter the world without the emotional baggage many people carry with the scars of their marriage and subsequent divorce. Both parties have an opportunity to have a friendship or at the very least a peaceful coexistence with their ex. The Collaborative Process allows for many different ways to love the leaver of the marriage by working through the painful issues before the divorce is final.
I have attached an article by Bill Ferguson which exemplifies how to heal the hurt from the relationship while ending the conflict which leads to a future well being after divorce and could possible save the marriage. Of course, their is a musical interlude which will describe how NOT to love your leaver.