Is it Live or is it Memorex?

I was reminded by a commercial many years ago (which will of course date me from the 60’s  LOL!).  There was singer Ella Fitzgerald with a high pitch voice near a wine glass.  The commercial showed the glass shattering.  Next was a view of a cassette tape player (hopefully I am not the only one who grew up with one!) which was playing the sound of the opera singers voice which shattered the wineglass.  The message was that the glass couldn’t tell that it was a recording of the high pitched voice and neither could you while listening to it.

How many times in our life do situations come up that we question? Is this really happening in my current experience or is it a recording of my past? Sometimes it appears so real it’s hard to tell the difference.  So what can we do to differentiate what is our reality and what is just a replay from the past? What works for me is to check in on how I’m feeling.  If I’m feeling good about what’s happening, this is a validation that this is my reality now. If what’s happening is not making me feel good, it’s probably a trigger from something that happened before showing up now to be healed.

If you’ve realized this to be a Memorex recording of the past, one that feels so real that it must be the truth, take a step back for a moment as there is an opportunity to resolve something incomplete. Acknowledge that this is a message from your past appearing now to be healed so it doesn’t have to keep showing up.  Allow yourself to go within and experience what this recording of your past is trying to tell you.  Is there something you need to learn from this to help you in a current situation? Was there no closure on something in your past that you can validate, accept for what it was and now be ready, willing and able to release it?  Do you need to feel the feeling from this past situation so that you can move on?

Many people challenged in moving ahead from their divorce time and time again are confronted by message from the past.  It is sometimes difficult to know the difference between their truth and something from their past that makes them question who they really are.  By understanding this dynamic when questing whether something is real or a message from their past can go a long way in doing the work with themselves to get their life on track and not feel stuck from the loss of their marriage.  Moving ahead is just a thought away and it depends on how you choose to live.

Our past is useful not to dwell on but to understand and celebrate as it contributed to who you are today.  We constantly get reminders of our previous life experiences and get the choice on how we allow them to shape our present and future.  By accepting what happened before and acknowledging their purpose if they appear again is the healing lesson we can have as we continue on this path called life. When life asks you is it live or is it Memorex, take the time to answer the question.  What you will find will make a difference for the rest of your journey.

Watch the Memorex commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YG8K0yl4_hc

Remember, you are Perfect, You are Powerful, YOU are on Purpose…Now go and live the life you were meant to live.

!n-joy!  Namaste

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Wherever You Go, There You Are

How many times have we gone on vacation or somewhere away, have an amazing time only to return home wishing we were back?  I don’t know about you but it has happened to me countless times.  Why does this phenomenon occur in our lives and what does it mean? When we are in a different place, there’s something about being away from our environment that shifts us.  New and different stimuli catches our attention…we have a different routine…we may be away from people and things that create stress in our lives…we feel different.  Our essence embraces this because it brings us happiness and joy.  We are more relaxed and we attract more of what and who we are because of this shift. There is exhilaration in our being and of course, what happens?  We want more of that.  At some point, we return home from our trip and we feel a letdown.  There is sadness and anxiety because we go back to the way our life was before we left which was not giving us the joy and happiness we felt while we were away.

Going through divorce or trying to move on afterwards can you leave feeling the same way. You decide to get away from it all hoping things would be different and while you’re away it may seem like it does.  Then when we get back, we are disheartened, disillusioned and even more stressed than when we left.  We had hoped a change in scenery would right our ship and upon returning it feels like it’s sinking even more.  Confucius said ““No matter where you go – there you are” and it is so true.  We have this belief that going somewhere else or changing our environment will cure all the ills in our life.  Now there is something to be said for having a fresh start and sometimes in a different locale.  But the fact of the matter is no matter where we go, we are still who we are.  Nothing changes about our essence and what our truth is.  What can change however is how we see our life. Sometimes a change in scenery gives us an opportunity to focus on our truth…what we long for.  If we are not happy in our life, this is a symptom of not tapping into our Inner Truth…that place within us that knows and sees our ultimate perfection….that we are whole and complete exactly as we are.  When we find ourselves in another place and take in the newness or the change of where we were, we allow our heart to open to the possibilities in our life.  We focus on that which brings us joy and not on what does not.  By doing so, our heart expands even more to allow more of that which is who we are.  This seems to change when we leave this different location and return home.

So how can we sustain this euphoria?  By tapping into the same place that was activated while we were away…our Inner Truth.  Remember what brought you such bliss when you were away whatever that might be…the beauty of nature…the excitement of a new routine…the support of new friends…the realization of a new awareness.  All of this is stays with you when you are home or away.  When you have experienced that which fills you up is a reinforcement of what you already possess inside you.  You can tap into these feelings..this awareness of yourself anytime…anyplace.  Wherever you go, there you are…There is no place you are not.  What is exciting about this is you can have the experiences you had while you were away at home just by shifting into that place within you that was activated by being away.  No matter how you are living life right now, you can make the choice to be in that place that feels good.  Just remember the times that brought you great happiness…remember how that felt.  That is who you are…that is what you are all about…waiting for you to experience over and over and over again.  Go ahead and try it!

!n-joy my friends!  Namaste

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If not You, Who?…If not Now, When?

I had the amazing opportunity to gather with 400 of the most incredible visionaries from around the world for four days last week. To say it was the most life changing experience of my life would be a huge understatement.  The lessons I learned were transformational and I came away feeling truly blessed.  There was a calling that could not be ignored…a wake-up call…a call to action to live my life with more purpose and meaning although that is what I thought I was living.

Hillel the Elder, Jewish rabbi of Babylonian origin, living at Jerusalem in the time of King Herodis, is the author of the saying “If I am not for myself, who is for me? And when I am for myself, what am ‘I’? And if not now, then when?”.  The inner inquiry is profound as a general question for all of to ponder.  What is the purpose of life?  Who will be called to live that life with meaning?  When will a life of purpose and meaning be lived?

The question “If not you, who?…if not now, when?”  rang loud and clear as I connected and went deeper at this gathering.  It became not only clear what my purpose was but also what was I waiting for.  There was an urgency never there before that grabbed me thrusting me into action.  I committed to more integrity in my life and saying no more to any beliefs or obstacles that get in the way of living and speaking my truth.  It felt exhilarating to say the least as I began a more definitive and meaningful journey.

Many of my clients recovering from their experience with divorce are confronted with questions of what’s next in their life and how to live with more purpose and meaning.  It’s a scary yet freeing place to be. Although these questions may have never been asked before, being able to start fresh with a clean slate can be quite exciting.  The path from divorce need not be painful or be insufferable.  There are options and solutions that will help heal the pain and be the guidance to transforming your life to one of purpose and meaning. What I know for sure is you are a magnificent being perfect, whole and complete with all the answers you need.  All it takes is that first step and someone to walk right alongside you.

If not You, Who?…If not Now, When?  !n-joy my friends!  Namaste

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Are Your Feelings Checked at the Door?

I’m sure all of us are familiar with the cliché about checking our ego at the door.  It means before we enter a place of truth or going within to leave anything unlike who we really are behind so as not to interfere with that introspection.

What sometimes happens is that we also leave our feelings at the door as well.  In going introspective, this can be vulnerable and quite scary.  Part of us wants go deeper and may not understand the power of allowing our feelings to speak its truth…the voice of who we really are.  In traveling down that road, its easy to be very heady about it and leave our feelings at the door.

This happens so frequently with those going through and healing from a divorce.  It may not have been safe to know our feelings much less trust and feel them.  Because of these experiences, going within is not natural and exploring our feelings even more challenging. This is a time to look at who you are and where you are in your life.  It is an opportunity to write a new chapter in your book instead of reliving a sequel that didn’t work the first time around.

I invite you to take the next step in moving on from your divorce. All it takes is a willingness to check in on your feelings and not check them at the door.  Just being willing to be willing is a huge first step.  When you open the door to the next stage of your life, your feelings can come with you and show you the way to have the life you desire and the love you deserve.  What you can leave at the door is a way of thinking that no longer serves you…don’t worry…there is no use for these thoughts anymore.

Now go out and live the life you were meant to live!  !n-joy my friends!  Namaste

Anthony J. Diaz
The Divorce Empowerment Coach

Coaching Website www.anthonyjdiaz.com

Law Firm Website/Blog www.DivorceWithDignityNow.com

Facebook  www.facebook.com/IAmOnPurpose

Twitter twitter.com/IAmOnPurpose or @IAmOnPurpose

LinkedIn http://www.linkedin.com/in/thedivorcedr

Contact Talk Radio  www.ctrnetwork/profile/AnthonyJDiaz

When you believe it, you can weave it.
You shall conceive it, you will achieve it!

You are Perfect…You are Powerful…YOU are on Purpose!!! 
Now go out and live the life you dream of, desire and deserve!
Don’t Die with Your Music Still in You 

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Change is in the air

As I sit outside overlooking the ocean in our new surroundings, I realize how change is an amazing opportunity about how we both look at and see life.  Moving to a new area means getting used to new and different rituals and routines.  It can be exciting and frightening as we navigate through the process.

I noticed my anxiety level rising as I felt the changes going through my body.  My initial reaction was to go to the fear and it became overwhelming.  When I became aware of where I was going, I took a walk on the beach and noticed there was an excavation. At first I groaned as it took away from its beauty and didn’t look so nice. I realized though the work was to bring more sand to the beach that eroded over time.  So although it didn’t look great now, it was part of a change that would ultimately benefit the beach for everyone to !njoy.

Life is very much this way when it comes to change.  It is always for the good of all including ourselves if we can understand and accept that it may not always look or feel good in the beginning.  I came back from my walk with a refreshed look at change knowing its ultimate result.  I was given an amazing opportunity to embrace change of a new area looking for the good in its essence.

Going through and moving on from divorce is very similar when it comes to change. It can bring up many different feelings which can be challenging to deal with.  Having experienced divorce personally there were many changes that were both debilitating and transformational.

I invite you to embrace these changes and accept this as part of your divorce journey. When you allow change on your journey, you take another step to “divorce your divorce” and move on to heal your pain to have the life you desire and ultimately the love you deserve.

!n-joy my friends!  Namaste

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Falling Back To Spring Ahead

As we enter the next season of Spring and its Equinox, many changes take place.  Flowers bloom, winter weather is behind us and we anticipate warmer weather.  Another change that happens is Daylight Savings Time which takes place this week when we set our clocks one hour ahead.  This means the sun rises a little bit later in the morning but we also get another hour of daylight at the end of the day.  The exact opposite occurs in the Fall when we turn our clocks back.  Although Spring is a time for changes in our life, many of which will move us ahead, it is also a time to look back and see what we can release that doesn’t serve us.  If you are going through or have been through divorce, navigating through change can be challenging if not outright daunting.  But it can be an exhilarating time if we can take steps to purge ourselves of that which is holding is back from our magnificent self.

Many of us use springtime for cleaning, getting rid of clutter and those belongings we no longer use.  Doesn’t it feel good to toss out stuff that’s been accumulating in our space?  There is a light feeling when we have more space in our lives, isn’t there? We can also do the same for feelings, thoughts, relationships that no longer provides us joy and fulfillment.  What thoughts have you been carrying around that affirm an illusion of lack and limitation?  Now is a perfect time to replace these thoughts with prosperity and abundance.  We all have so much to be thankful for in our lives when we put our attention there.  So when these thoughts try to make their way into your consciousness, remember all the people and experiences you have in your life that make you feel blessed.

What feelings do you have other than pure joy and bliss?  Although they appear to be real, these feelings do not reflect your inner Truth and who you really are.  I invite you to visualize what that would look like.  What in your life brings you happiness?  Our truth is love, light and life and everything else is just an illusion we’ve created from the experiences we’ve had.  Our past is not fact…just experiences we’ve had along the way.

Now is also the time to detach from toxic relationships that drain us and zap us of energy to live our life more fulfilling and meaningful.  There are many ways we hold on to these types of relationships – friends, family, love.  We don’t need to know the reason why only that if these do not support us and are not joyful, they are holding us back from the rich experiences we were meant to have.  This type of releasing can be the most challenging but also the most rewarding.  By letting go of the relationships that do not support you, you are also creating the space to let of the thoughts and feelings that go along.  You are allowing this void to be filled with people, thoughts and feelings that do serve your Highest Good and provide you the foundation to live the live you desire.  Sometimes in order to spring ahead, we have to fall back and regroup.  When we release that which clutters our lives, we are now ready to embrace a new season…a new life that awaits us.  This is a perfect time to clean our emotional house especially if your divorce is or has been holding you back.  Are you ready to Spring ahead?

!n-Joy my friends…Namaste

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The Greatest Love of All

“The Universe is a stage on which your mind dances with your body, guided by your heart.”

As we enter into the month of Love, how is your relationship?  As we examine the quality of our intimacy, we may be asking the question “What is love”?  Is it an emotion, is it a feeling?  Or is it something greater?  Coming from a place of love, we are born with this ever expanding all powerful juggernaut inside of us.  It’s not learned nor is it developed, but part of our DNA makeup.  It’s already inside of us awaiting our experiencing it for ourselves.  When we reflect on the many gifts from singer Whitney Houston, we are reminded of how she so eloquently expressed this as the “Greatest Love of All”.

As we grew up, in many ways it became harder and harder to fully express our unconditional love.  We allowed outside circumstances to affect us inside.  Sometimes we craved for love from someone else and lost our way instead of knowing it’s always inside of us awaiting its unconditional expression.

As we define love and how it shows up in our relationships with others, it’s great to express our love for someone else.  But are we doing the same for ourselves? How do we feel if we’re not in a relationship…if we don’t get a card for Valentine’s Day?  Do you remember making and giving Valentine’s Day cards as kids?  Remember how excited you were getting one from someone else or how upset you were if you didn’t.  A great exercise in teaching self-love at a young age would be to have children send Valentine’s Day cards to themselves.  This is a way to let them experience the feeling of loving who they are exactly the way they are.  The “Greatest Love of All” talks about our children and how we must start very young “showing them all the beauty they possess inside”.

Love may be explained as an emotion, a feeling we express; but in the bigger picture, love is a state of being.  When someone talks about being in love, it’s usually describing another person.  But actually we are always in love…with ourselves, with how we live our life.  Being able to express love to someone else begins by learning to love yourself unconditionally.  When you do, it cannot be taken away.  If you are having trouble loving yourself, it doesn’t mean it’s not there…you just haven’t been able to tap into that place of unlimited unconditional love.

How can we do that?  How can we go to the place we were before or maybe never for some? Close your eyes and think of that laughing baby who is feeling total unabandoned love.  That baby in you wants to express its unconditional, unlimited love of yourself, of life, of everything and everyone.  Feel  that feeling, whatever that feels like…that’s the place to come from always in all ways.

When we realize that we are the love in our life, we begin the path on our journey to being in a loving, healthy relationship.  Loving yourself is not only the way we allow ourselves the joy of loving another – it’s a state of being that starts and ends your life and everything love in between.  That’s the place of the Greatest Love of All.

!n-Joy my friends!…Namaste

Click here and !n-joy The Greatest Love of All

Click here for lyrics

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The Search is Over

When people are contemplating or actually in the midst of a divorce, it is very common for them to feel lost. The world they once knew and was comfortable with has now been sent into a spiral with no end in sight. Both men and women experience this differently however the common denominator is the search for something certain, a sense of calmness amidst the storm crashing through the end of their marriage, a feeling of control over the outcome and the future which seems so unreachable.

I have attached a great article about an actual collaborative divorce in the Tampa Bay area of Florida. The couple’s testimonial about the process was so overwhelmingly positive, they have remained friends. This real life story accentuates the positives using the Collaborative Process as an alternative to traditional divorce litigation. The process usually takes no more than a few months instead of potentially years, the cost is a fraction of the fees incurred going to court and the benefit of a kinder, gentler divorce especially with children is priceless.

Instead of always reaching, be open to the world of possibilities with Collaborative Divorce. Please call my office to find out more about how to divorce with dignity and understanding with a process that is easy. What you see is real and will last forever, the search is over.

This process works, this process is for you, this is Collaborative Divorce!

In-Joy the theme appropriate song and lyrics accompaniment!

Click here to read Attorneys, Couples Claim Divorce Method is Quick and Easy by Chris Chmura

Click here and enjoy The Search is Over

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Never Say Never

In my years of practice, I have had many clients who begin the divorce process looking at what is not working and how they can avoid the worst possible outcome.  This mindset developed many years before and continued through their marriage.  In resolving their divorce, this way of thinking is not very useful in achieving a mutually beneficial result for all.  In working with those who may believe their cup is half full, exploring where these beliefs came from is important but ultimately empowering them to feel that they have choices in any circumstance is the key.  Knowing that choices are available during the divorce process creates a sense of strength that helps the couple understand that they are the ultimate decision makers in resolving the end of their marriage.

Choosing Collaborative Divorce is the best solution for those who not only want to decide the issues that need to be resolved but to do it civilly, peacefully, with dignity and without the anger, emotion and fear of the unknown that goes along with traditional divorce litigation ultimately decided by the Court.  Attached is a good article explaining the Collaborative Process of Divorce.  Resolving divorce collaboratively gives the couple an opportunity to move on with their life in a positive way and not having to live in never-never land again.

If you are interested in never saying never again, you are open to the world of possibilities with Collaborative Divorce. Please call my office to find out more about how to divorce with dignity and understanding with a process that makes it easy to believe in forever knowing it can be that way.

This process works, this process is for you, this is Collaborative Divorce!

In-Joy the theme appropriate song and lyrics accompaniment!

Click here to read Working Divorce: Using Collaborative Law Can Make for a Win-Win Divorce for All by Cicily Corbett

Click here and enjoy Never Say Never

Click here for lyrics

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Reason To Believe

As we progress into the New Year, couples who put off dealing with the end of their marriage over the holidays have come out in full force. Since there is nothing else between them and their contemplated divorce, the biggest question is HOW? With the advent of many different forms of divorce resolution other than traditional litigation through the court system, the Collaborative Process has taken the country by storm as it gains popularity in Florida.

One of the biggest and more important questions is the role of the attorney in Collaborative Divorce. How are they different than if the case was in court? Will they still advocate for my best interests? Why should I choose you to be my Collaborative attorney. With all of these issues being quite relevant in the decision of whether the Collaborative Process is the right alternative, you will find an great article attached explaining what a cllaboratively trained attorney can do for their client. You will be amazed at the many benefits a Collaborative lawyer can provide during this process. It may come as a surprise to you that these are the same benefits derived from a divorce litigator at less cost, less time and less animosity than going to court.

Going through a divorce is no walk in the park but with the Collaborative process there is a reason to believe that the end of your marriage can have a good ending. Please call my office to find out more about how to divorce with dignity and understanding. If I listen long enough to you, I’d find a way to believe that the outcome of your divorce being peaceful and civil is all true.

This process works, this process is for you, this is Collaborative Divorce!

In-Joy the theme appropriate song and lyrics accompaniment!

Click here to read What Collaborative Counsel Does for the Collaborative Client by Laurie Israel, Esq.

Click here and enjoy Reason to Believe

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