This week demonstrated an ongoing theme that consistently weaved throughout my cases. The one that I will discuss today involved a mediation where our firm represented the wife in a divorce proceeding. From the beginning, there was a sense that we were not going to be able to settle due to a lack of significant information from the husband. The husband wanted a proposal from us to settle the matter. Initially, we felt we could not do that without the information that was lacking. However in discussions with my client, she felt strongly about keeping the house and all the contents which had significant value. We talked about not having enough other information to make an informed decision but also that even if we did it may not reveal anything to help her cause. As a result, we did settle the case.
The message here is that the wife may have been right in wanting to see additional information and the husband may have been right in stating that this is all the information he had. What mattered was that the parties focused on what was important to them to walk away from the marriage. Once that dynamic was in place, fruitful discussions were had and an agreement was reached.
Attached is a superb article by Stuart G. Webb, the founder of Collaborative Divorce and Ronald D. Ouskey on how specific issues are addressed through the Collaborative Process. These issues can be developed much more in depth through the use of neutral professionals trained in these areas. My case, although it settled, would have gotten to the parties needs much more effectively if it was handled collaboratively. In the Collaborative process, it doesn’t matter who is right but what is important to each party in settling the many issues on their divorce. As the song goes, you may be wrong for all I know you may be right.
Also attached is theme appropriate music and lyrics for your listening pleasure. In-Joy!